#my emotions just blinded me here
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"hyacinth, i do not think penelope can breathe" → "i cannot breathe" + the clock chiming after penelope passes out, ergo.... she does indeed actually stop breathing.
#*carly catalogs#i've managed to avoid spoilers cause i'd like to go into pt. 2 as blind as possible#and netflix has this annoying way of advertising and releasing so much sneak peak footage of their most popular show#not that i really mind spoilers normally but ya know#i saw a gifset of hyacinth practically pouncing on penelope and colin's comment ignited this theory again#there really is no significance at all here#yet my brain is still at war with itself over this#like... i am sane enough to know i'm dead wrong#but delusional enough to still have expectations#sszdfrttyghjkl#clearly it's her anxiety and all her bottled up emotions finally creeping up on her#rather than there being something actually medically wrong with her#so it's really not going to be THAT climatic but still.....#just another post exposing myself and how big of a clown i am#bridgerton#bridgerton season 3#bridgerton s3 part 2#colin bridgerton#penelope featherington#polin#otp: you are special to me
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my favourite writing device is having an un-Rei-liable narrator
#rei#volo#cheren#// tikposting#// character meta#the crowd booes me off the stage#forgive the pun XDDD his name is too easy to pun on#the way i write it it's not a conscious choice. it's just how the pov character (rei) experiences and contextualises the world#revealing backstory and personality and mindset through narration !!!!#not necessarily out of malice it's just. how he views things#interpreting new and foreign experiences through the lens of what came before...#conversations which read differently to different people.#in the context of rei that's stuff like unease around authority figures#always choosing his words carefully to project an image of competence (he has to be needed)#distrust and not taking things at face value but also paradoxically a fragile and nurtured sense of almost blind optimism#when it comes to friendships. like volo. (everyone turned on me when the sky turned red but it all resolved itself in the end didn't it?)#(what makes this different? / a lot of things. / i choose to believe)#volo [directly]: “i won't be stopped from my goal” rei thoughts: we can work with this!!!!#and everything with Arceus too and his divine blessings and a plan that will work out in the end#if Rei can just... figure out what part he's meant to play. interpreting events as a narrative hurtling towards some unknown conclusion#i am talking about rei here specifically but this writing device is so good in general#would be fun to try get inside volo's head. there's so much going on there i don't understand yet#quite fond of that one analysis post about how volo lacks emotional intelligence and sees relationships as transactions#not necessarily out of malice it's just how he views things. whether because of past experience or brain chemistry#also need to give a shout to cheren my guy who is an outsider pov who projects his own experiences onto new things so that he Understands#(an outsider to Hilbert and N's clash of truth and ideals. life changing experience and knowledge but felt just a little off to the left)#(the narrative repeated again with new heroes. all he can do is help them but it falls on their shoulders in the end)#(no wonder he tries to insert himself into Situations)#anyway tag ramble over feel free to also ramble to me about your takes XD#rei pokemon
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Hello! I will say that when I made this post, I was not in the best mood, and I probably went overboard and came across as too aggressive, and for that I apologize. I made this post to express my distaste for having a character that doesn't speak appear to suddenly gain the ability to speak that well.
I have no problem with the fact that Amaya can speak, I just have a problem with Amaya never being shown to have practiced using her voice and she is still able to talk this well. I just feel like having a character, deaf or not, who doesn't talk, shout loudly and clearly enough for the others to hear over the noise in the room (and alert Callum! He wasn't watching her, but he heard her speak and looked over) felt like something that wasn't true to someone who didn't use their voice.
I felt like Amaya communicating solely without sound and instead relying on sign and lip reading, regardless of her vocal ability, was an important part of her character. Of course, I will recognize that Amaya can speak, and it is not bad representation to have a deaf person that can speak. Hearing and speaking are two separate abilities. But also, no person can use their voice without practice, and Amaya was just never shown or said to have ever spoken or tried to speak at any other time.
I am sorry if it appeared I was claiming that deaf people could not speak or use their voice, or it was bad representation. That was not my intention, and I am sorry if I offended anyone. And thank you for taking the time to respond and talk to me, it does mean a lot. I appreciate other people sharing their own thoughts on this scene.
ps: the part where I said "no!" was part of my rant, not me thinking that that was what she said.
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. AMAYA SPOKE??!!? NO! YES, DEAF PEOPLE CAN TECHNICALLY SPEAK, BUT THERE WAS NO GOOD REASON FOR HER TO TALK THERE! SHE WAS ALSO FAR ENOUGH AWAY THAT THEY WOULDNT HAVE HEARD HER! AND SHES NEVER SAID ANYTHING ELSE IN HER WHOLE LIFE (as far as i know anyway) SO HER VOCAL CHORDS WOULDNT BE ABLE TO MAKE THAT SOUND LOUD ENOUGH.
I MEAN, AT LEAST THE LESBIAN CHARACTER DIDNT DIE. BUT THIS IS STILL AWFUL
They had disability rep. And they did this, during disability pride month. Ugh
#the dragon prince spoilers#tdp amaya#in this fantasy setting where the writers can make any character do whatever they want#i didn't like that they chose to have her talk as her chosen form of communication#because in the moment it felt like part of what makes her herself wasn't as important as the dramatic effect#and she gained an ability that made little sense for the writers' convenience.#again i am very sorry to anyone i offended. i do not want to talk over anyone else.#my emotions just blinded me here
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You’re gonna die if you keep that up (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#ZEX#Kayako#And Teisel's there technically#*Die again - he's sticking with his track record lol at least he's consistent#Ghost/Curse GF arc!! I enjoy seeing ZEX happy but I am Concerned for him lol#ZEX be attracted to something/one that won't brutally murder him challenge - difficulty impossible#His affection for the grotesque and monstrous - I mean while it's admirable he does regularly put himself in dangerous situations!#Runs solely on the Suspension Bridge Effect lol - attraction and fear so conflated in his mind <3#I keep thinking of his human instincts as specifically Max's instincts since it's his body - Max's self-preservation and fear and hunger#Which ZEX dutifully ignores lol Max's body tells him to bolt and privately replies like ''Yes yes in a moment'' haha#His fascination wins out! To his own detriment haha#Although I say all that as though I don't relate in my own way - I have maybe just a few too many notes relating to ZEX lol#It's always been hard for me to get into horror in the way it's intended to spook and scare because I tend to get sad :')#So many monsters and ghosts and creatures are victims of circumstance! Like Kayako! As she is here she's not even malicious just dangerous#I've never seen the Grudge so it's only speculation but it seems very sad that she was tethered as a Curse rather than a malignant spirit#Like a battery moreso than an individual - what a terrible after-existence! It makes me sad to consider!#ZEX reaching out to her in his own way is very sweet <3 He's so biased towards his darlings hehe#In a way being human does suit him - we'll packbond with anything that Might have even the slightest inclination to not maim us lol#And the way he personifies her! (VUXonifies her?) Reading intention or emotion into her actions with no proof and no understanding!#The way he ''tries to read her face'' as if he hasn't been struggling with that this entire time - with other humans who can tell him so ♪#His pride is so delicious <3 He is so easily blinded to his own shortcomings in the face of pleasure and the potential for connection!#It's no wonder DAX worries about him so much hehe ♥#It also always makes me so happy to have something fit together so perfectly like those last two hehe <3#That vine didn't exist when this happened! But there it is!! I love newer memes on older media hehehe ♪♫
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so uhh uhhhh that most recent tlaes episode huh
spoilers in the tags, beware
#the sun and moon show#tsams#the lunar and earth show#tlaes#okay spoiler time now#UHH WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCKK WHAT THE FUCKKKK#BLOODMOON??????? WHAT#I EXPECTED SOME RUIN TYPE SHIT WERE BM KIDNAPS LUNAR AND PLAYS DEMENTED GAMES WITH HIM BUT HOLY SHIT#HE LITERALLY BROKE HIS ARM AND ALMOST GOUGED OUT HIS EYES#head in hands. what are sun moon and monty gonna do when earth tells them#theyre going to fucking WITCHHUNT this man#this is me planting my flag in the ground which reads 'bloodmoon i love you as a character but Holy Shit please Stop'#ALSO EARTH MY GODESS MY QUEEN#SHE STAYED SO CALM AND THEN THE SECOND SHE GOT THE CHANCE SHE BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM. LITERALLY PUNCHED HIM TO NEAR BLINDNESS#ALSO ALSO SHOUTOUT TO RUIN WHO JUST WATCHED THAT WHOLE THING GO DOWN JUST SO HE COULD INTERVENE DRAMATICALLY#FUCK YOU /POS#just wait 2days tsams episode is gonna be like minecraft or some shit and we'll all get emotional whiplash here we go
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had quite the night drive earlier this evening.
#just me rambling again#web weaving#(?)#uh. one of my friends who is out of town for college was visiting and i got to see him and our friends and the only core member of that#group of people missing was my ex girlfriend who you may also know of as my wonderful wife#who has I assume been very busy with their own life things but has also barely and very sparsely had any hint of communication with any of#us within the past few months which I've been realizing very recently sort of hurts my feelings because we used to be so close and#they had been saying that they would be constantly making sure we still were in each other's lives. but then very quickly have#seemingly dropped off the face of the earth#anyways. I was driving aforementioned friend who is in town back home (family home not college obv) and when i was finally going back#towards my house afterwards my Google maps finally lead me to an area that i was more familiar with driving and i got to an#intersection and it was telling me to take a right to go home but i knew that i knew the way perfectly from that intersection to my#ex girlfriend / best friend / wifes familys house from all of the times I've gone that direction through the past years and so#i turned off my directions and i took a left towards their house#not super sure why but my brain and body just knew it was something i needed to do and so i went and drove down their street and cried#a lot the whole time and then drove myself home from their house once again following a super familiar path#and idk im still feeling very emotional about it. the fact that halloween by noah kahan was the first song to play on Spotify#after i made that left turn im sure didnt help (knowing that i miss them so much and am going to be leaving this area myself#soon enough here and there's been an open offer for a while now that they are welcome to follow and live with me once they get their degree#(and also um. halloween is next week lol)#idk i just havent felt the full force of how badly i miss having them in my life until tonight. when i was around this person i could feel#our souls singing in harmony. i genuinely cannot describe the feelings of our relationship in words i feel like only vaguely abstract art#could communicate the connection that was forged between us and the level of understanding and knowing#something not dissimilar to looking into the sun directly or trying to describe a vivid color to someone who is completely blind#something about the way the entire universe breathes in unison and everything around us are all pieces of the same stars#sigh#i miss my wife tails i miss her a lot /ref
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y'know. it really sucks to feel yourself back-sliding, mentally, when you know you've been doing pretty alright for a while
#i can feel it coming scoob. frankly i think it may already be here.#i am always so tired. frustrated. having really fun mood swings.#and my job is deeply taxing and deeply stressful. ao i never get any fucking reprieve.#and i literally don't have the energy to care for myself at home reliably.#so my whole fuckin day got ruined today bc my landlord visited with some people to measure the place.#and i spent hours cleaning. and he ended the call by trlling me my apartment was dirty.#so. i cried. bc i have no emotional resilience anymore on account of the constant stress#and then i cut someone off in traffic today despite trying really hard to Not do that#but despite checking my mirrors and blind spot 4 times i still managed it!#and they sped past me. so i screamed at them from the safety of my car with the windows rolled up.#and then immediately burst into uncontrollable tears that lasted the better part of 30 min#and nearly made me puke.#so now. i am hollowed-out and exhausted. just barely making it through.#and i can feel how close the absolute meltdown is. and i can't fuckin do anything about it bc i can't miss work! fuck!#it's been an exceptionally stressful two weeks and I've had it. but we keep trucking i guess.#idk im sad and frustrated and just going through it rn. and it sucks bc i remember being happy.#and i'm just not anymore.#i ramble#sorry this was long and rambly and unasked for i'm just having a really really bad day#and will be having them every day until at least august!
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this is entirely unrelated to anything on this blog or anything pjo but i have to declare this somewhere, so this is as good a place as any:
please, i am begging you, if you haven't played ou/ter w.ilds (wilds, not worlds: important distinction) and have the ability to, pry yourself off this hellsite and go play it
i don't mean to be pushy or annoying, but i can pretty much guarantee that if i had to choose one (1) game out of so dang many i hold dear and would recommend, that's the one. everyone should experience it
my gf and i finally beat our playthrough of it at the end of 2023, and i have legit not gone a single day since then without the game just crossing my mind, if not being wholly consumed in EmotionsTM and just staring vacantly at a wall trying to process what the crap we went through—and the fact i'd never get to experience that game again for the first time (never in my life have i wanted to forget a game as badly as this just to get to replay it blind)
it's incredible. it's messed with my head in good and bad ways. and i am confident i will never play a game that makes me feel the exact way this game has. that is all. have a wonderful day/evening/whatever (time isn't real) and i will return this blog to regularly scheduled programming now ♡
#(ooc)#tl;dr i basically will never recover so naturally i want as many people as possible to also be in my boat#of endless suffering but like... you're happy about it#we outer wilds players are a very specific breed of#“desperately through endless tears watching blind playthroughs on youtube just to remember how it felt the first time”#which out of context sounds... yEAH ANYWAY#sorry for the unrelated content i just have so many emotions about this game#and sometimes out of nowhere i legit just sit here with a thousand yard stare#wake me up inside SAVE ME 8)#but yes anyway it's almost the weekend ! everyone hang in there#you all continue to be massive inspirations on my dash <3 i hope you're taking care of yourselves#do something nice for yourself this week if you haven't yet!!
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I don't think I've ever been in a relationship this healthy before I don't know what to do 💀
#mine#🎸#DUDE my feelings are so weird like i cant even describe them cause theyre all over the place. im hoping someone sees this and sends me an#ask or something with advice if this is even gonna make sense. because i am so confused lmfao#First of all im always expecting something to go wrong so i feel like it might be the absence of Problems thats throwing me off#But he reassures me all the time and genuinely cares about me? in regards to my last post we talked about it and he comforted me#i feel like im kind of in an emotional limbo where im still processing everything. my yan moments make appearances more than my dere#i feel so cringe saying that as a native english speaker. well im here to express my feelings not to be judged <3#but i definitely FEEL the jealousy more. like i exhibit both equally but im more emotional in a bad way than a good way#but its not cause of anything hes doing at all! hes perfect?! i dont know how to handle it!! i only know how to be jealous#at least if im mean im not as likely to get hurt and thats why im afraid to feel lovey things as much??? im making myself sound like#a bastard but ive just been feeling more anxiety and getting worried about Relationship Stuff and that kills the vibes#but he doesnt even mind he doesnt treat my problems like a burden. he isnt sick of them he doesnt abandon me. he loves me and i am still so#bewildered? like. hes the nicest guy ive ever dated. ill gush about new people i meet but they do have flaws. i just dont acknowledge them#because im so blinded by idolization. but for this one ive thought everything out i have PONDERED for so long and he really is just such a#good person. how? WHY?? he has not done anything wrong and its just my mental illness that causes ALL the problems. but he wants to#BE there and comfort me. what the fuck my brain is like short circuiting. people this nice exist? he doesnt want to use me??#and ofc this is all in the romantic sense. i still have friends that i value very much but this post is focused on romance#watch me say all this then he does something horrible. <-SEE IM SO NEGATIVE i expect things to go wrong#my main problem is im confused about my feelings they feel very tangled and muddled. im happy of course but i feel like the part of me that#feels romantic happiness/genuine satisfaction is all fucked up and broken. but he doesnt mind that im this way 🥲 WHY#HE ASSURES ME EVERYTHINGS OKAY he is there for me he cares about me but i cant wrap my head around it! im. this is so weird#one of my goals is to be less focused on being insane and actually get things done. w all my relationships i have a time blur thing#where i feel like time passes differently even more than it does for me. im just thinking so much bruh#right i think i was gonna go about getting adderall because of the everything all the time. im feeling numb but also#literally every emotion all at once. and it consumes me and my waking thoughts. i guess it was easier to ignore before?
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Me, when Aegon first appeared: Well at least there was no uncomfortable sex scene-
Episode 4: Hold my beer
#Alicent with no emotions whatsoever behind her eyes: My love#But also y'all lied to me about Daemon#I thought he was cool but apparently you've all been blinded by the doctor#(no fr this is some mids*mmar stuff like#He's clearly a manipulative piece of shit who's only interested in his niece because he wants the throne for himself#And here tumblr was trying to convince me he was some great feminist part of a ride or die couple#I am not saying it does not make a good/interesting character I'm just saying y'all were leaving me astray)#Brain watches stuff
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I still yearn.
I still long for things I have no access to, I still long for my god, I fear he is distant.
He is the god of mental health, too. He is the god of taking your meds. I know this.
I cannot help missing the all-consuming rush of emotions unbridled, mind spinning, vision tunneled, hands buzzing with glorious tension. Excitement, ecstacy, blinding rage, all intense, all burning.
We never talk about how it feels good. We are already judged enough as it is.
It's better this way, I know. It's better calm, feeling reasonable amounts at a time, not hurting myself, not hurting those around me.
I fear I have lost his madness with the rest.
It is better this way, I know.
Maybe now, I can find purely Dionysus, instead of the hateful creations of my own mind.
#dionysus#borderline personality disorder#actually bpd#im on welbutrin for my adhd and a very unexpected side effect was calming my emotions and making my dbt way more effective#ig therapy works better when you can focus and remember stuff lol#i used to get so hyper id literally be bouncing and so filled with rage my vision somehow did seem white and blinded#id also get fear so intense and hurt shame sadness so intense that it felt like the world was ending#actually fucking ending#it's not a fun thing#except that it is sometimes. the excitement especially#and bpd is already so stigmatized that even if others experience any of this id be shocked if they said so? idk#anyway one of the things ive read that stuck with me was about proving godly possession is a process of elimination#including going to mental health experts#AND your own personal religious leaders#so if i wanted to induce that intentionally i had to get treated first right? logically?#at the very least now it'll be way easier to tell if it's dionysus or just bpd#i felt called to write this so here it is
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‧₊˚✧ ❛[ pretty tipsy ]❜
ft. logan howlett x f! reader — xmen, marvel
╰₊✧ he brings you home after a night out drinking┊2.5k words
setting: deadpool & wolverine (2024) worst! logan contains: alcohol & intoxication, this man is WHIPPED, age & size difference, emotional drunk human reader, ooc? calling him kitty
➤ author's note: idk what this is but it’s my longest logan piece yet because i have yet to write any more than a thousand words for him
tonight was one of the few nights logan could finally have some alone time. wade was going out for drinks with vanessa with the plan to stay over at her place, the ever so mysterious blind al was off doing her own thing, and mary puppins was resting peacefully in her little bed, tuckered out after a long day of playtime. he could finally get some long-awaited peace and quiet, a moment to himself to relax and breathe. while he’s grateful for the presence of others since he arrived in this dimension, he’s still a lone wolf at heart who treasures his privacy above all else.
humming a little tune from the eighties, he sunk into the beat-up leather couch with a beer in one hand and a lit cigar in the other, taking a long drag on it and preparing himself for a relaxing evening until his flip phone started ringing. when he opened it up to read the “wade wilson” contact name staring back at him, he rolled his eyes with a groan before answering.
“what the fuck do you want?”
“not even a ‘hello?’ damn bitch, okay then— well, we ran into some friends and had some drinks together, but one of them is pretty shit-faced right now and her phone is dead, could you pretty please with sugar on top come and pick her up?”
“the fuck? that’s not my problem, just call her an uber—” he stopped mid-sentence when he heard a familiar giggle in the background, one asking a different partygoer to have another drink with her, “is that the neighbor who lives at the end of the hallway?”
“yeah, it’s your little crush~! you recognize her from just her voice over the phone, oh my god, you have it bad wolfie!! well, if you don��t wanna come, then fine, whatever, but you know, it’s not unsafe for a pretty lady to be alone this late at night! some guy might just swoop her up, actually, there’s some guy asking for her number right now—”
“alright, alright, i’m coming! send me the address.” he nearly shouted into the receiver, putting out his cigar on the ashtray atop the coffee table and slipping on his jacket to leave the comfort of his shared apartment.
the night was chilly in comparison to the cozy warmth of the indoors and the bar was filled with loud chattering and cheers, the clinking of glasses, yelling at the game being televised, and the general buzz of extroverted fun on a weekend night.
“ayyy, there he is! come here, peanut, sit, sit, sit, have a drink with us!”
logan hesitated, not because he would ever shy away from free booze but because he was here on a mission with one sole goal in mind (and because he wasn’t familiar with this particular group of people, he didn’t feel like socializing tonight) “no, it’s fine, i’m just here to take her home.” his voice was uncharacteristically mellow, finding you napping on the table with your arms folded to be a makeshift cushion for your head.
you peeked at the man coming up next to you and your face changed from exhausted to ecstatic to upset in the span of a few seconds, “looggann!! how are you doing, i feel like i haven’t seen you in foreverr— how come every time i see you in the hall, you always run off, are you avoiding me? did i do something wrong?” you cling onto his hand and shake his arm, paying no attention to your friends giggling at your behavior in the background, pouting and tearing up.
oh god, you’re an emotional drunk, that’s so cute. neither he nor wade could get drunk at all on account of their systems constantly cleaning out the effects of the alcohol as soon as it’s consumed, but when he drinks around others, it’s a trait he typically finds so annoying quickly becoming so endearing when worn by you.
“i’m not avoiding you, you haven’t done anything wrong,” he consoled in the most gentle voice a wolverine could muster, also cringing at the fact that he wasn’t half as discreet as he thought he was. it’s true, he has been avoiding you, but only because he couldn’t stand the way you made him feel, smoothing out the rough edges of his personality and making him feel stupid butterflies he was far too old to be feeling, not to mention the nonstop teasing from everyone else when they noticed the way he seemed to look at you from afar. it was as if he was a child who thought hiding from it would make it go away, but it has become apparent it has only grown stronger.
“you’re telling the truth?” you sniffled.
“yes, i am. come on, bub, let’s get you outta here. i’m here to take you home.”
you didn’t protest or try to convince him you weren’t wasted, knowing your limit had been reached, and slowly picked up your things to follow him out of the building. he allowed you to intertwine your arm with his, providing support to your unbalanced mind and stumbling legs since you couldn’t even walk straight.
“why would you drink so much if you’re such a lightweight?”
“how do you know i’m a lightweight? you weren’t there, i could have drunk an entire bathtub full of booze before you showed up!”
“nah, i can smell it, there’s no way you drank anything more than a few pints.”
“oh, so the kitty is a dog now? i thought you were more cat-like this whole time, but i guess i was wrong.”
“what?” they say what a person says when intoxicated comes from their soul and true thoughts with little to no filter, but he certainly wasn’t anticipating those words to come out of your mouth.
“you look like a kitty, you know? with the way your hair does the little swoopy things— do you wake up like that or do you need to style it? you act like one too, grumpy ass kitty.”
“don’t call me that, kid, i hear it enough from wade already.”
“i’ll stop calling you kitty when you stop calling me kid! i know you’re old as hell, but i’m a grown-ass adult!”
“yeah? well, you’re certainly not acting like one right now.”
you were silent for a minute, making him worry for a second that he offended you by calling you childish, but when he looked back down at you, you were simply staring in astonishment. “i’ve never seen you smile before! you look a lot more handsome, you should do it more often!”
was he smiling? he didn’t even notice, grinning ear to ear and revealing his pearly white teeth, chuckling at your ridiculous words. was this really the first time you saw him smile and heard him laugh? no wonder you assumed he was avoiding you, he was surprised you didn’t hate him just because of a misunderstanding.
it took some time to get you up all of the stairs to your floor without tripping, and logan was almost sad the night was over so quickly. even if the conversation was mostly one-sided and you were intoxicated with slurred words, he swears he listened to all you had to say between comedic bits, insightful knowledge, random bullshit, and found it all fascinating. luckily for him, his time with you wasn’t up yet as he watched you fumble with your purse and frown.
“oh, fuck… i lost my keys… oh no…” you slumped against the wall until you fell to the floor, feeling yourself starting to cry at this inconvenience with heightened emotions.
“god, please don’t, not again…” he’s the absolute worst at comforting others, it isn’t his strong suit, and acknowledging this weakness seemed ten times more difficult when you were the one in need. “come on, you can sleep at my place for the night and charge your phone.”
“...really?”
“yes, come on.”
you took his outreached hand and found yourself in his grasp again as he held onto your shoulder to steady you, unlocking the door and leading you into his shared apartment. he felt somewhat grateful that you were too drunk to notice how messy the site was, seating you on the couch as he got you a glass of water to sober up. you looked so out of place among it all, so young and feminine with your vibrant club clothing around all of the aging, scratched-up furniture and muted colors.
“thank you,” you murmur, downing the entire tall glass with a few gulps, “uh, where is the bathroom?” he directed you to where it was and allowed you to use it, quickly hearing you turn on the shower after a minute and just as quickly hearing you swearing in regret over the loud pitter-patter of the steaming hot water. “i’m never drinking again, why am i being so fucking stupid?!”
“are you okay?”
“yeah, except for the fact i forgot that i don’t have a change of clothes and i stepped into the shower with my current ones on because i forgot to take them off!” your voice cracked, feeling yourself starting to cry once again from yet another inconvenience. you were really just embarrassing yourself and couldn’t wait for this shitty day to be over.
he let out a sigh of relief, “god, don’t scare me like that— i’ll get you something, hold on, please don’t cry.” he could have stolen some of al’s clothing since she wouldn’t have noticed, or he could have stolen some of the clothes vanessa left behind after spending time with wade, but for some odd reason, he pulled out one of his canadian hockey jerseys for you. the fabric was soft and worn with time, smelling slightly of him and laundry detergent, and arguably the most comfortable thing he had at his disposal. “i’ll leave it outside the door, okay?”
“thank youu!!” (and thank god your underwear is still clean and dry enough to wear again, you have no idea what you would have done if you didn’t realize your mistake soon enough and stood under the water for long enough to be soaked to the bone.)
logan allowed his fatigued body to rest for a moment, sinking into the couch just as he did an hour ago in hopes of relaxation. what the fuck was he doing? since when did the wolverine play babysitter for drunk young women, walking them back to play guard dog against possible creepy men, letting them into his home, and lending them his clothing to wear? this was so uncharacteristic of him, he couldn’t think of a single person he was willing to do this for other than laura, but you certainly weren’t nearly as close to him as he was to her! lord, he’s so pathetic, he thinks he probably would have carried you back bridal style too if you asked him.
the water stopped and he waited for you to exit so that he could show you where you could sleep, but he could now see he didn’t need to. your apartment layouts are nearly identical, and it looks like your brain was switched onto autopilot after cleaning up, mindlessly strolling into his bedroom and plopping down on his mattress as if it were your own. (his shirt was practically a dress on you, falling to your mid-thigh and ill-fitted on your smaller frame, his eyes lingering on it for a second longer than what would have been polite.)
he leaned against the doorframe, watching you make yourself comfortable and preparing to stay there until the early afternoon with a banging headache. “are you comfortable? do you need anything else?”
you murmured something in response and stretched out your arms, making grabby hands and inviting him to join you, “come cuddle with me! herree, kitty, kitty, kitty~”
are you really calling a fifty-something-year-old, six-foot-tall killer mutant with adamantium bones and razor-sharp claws that come out of his knuckles ‘kitty’? yes, yes you are, and you’re going to scream into your pillow from embarrassment when you recall it the next day.
“i don’t do cuddles, princess,” he chuckled even though he intended to scoff. “and i already told you to quit calling me that.”
“pleaseee? pretty pleasee?” you chirped, eyes going big and round just like a puppy in a cartoon, begging him to humor you in this request.
are you truly a human, or are you secretly a mutant who has hypnotic powers? the answer is obvious, he’s just an old loser who apparently answers at your every beck and call now because all he could do is sigh, slip off his jacket, and get under the blanket with you.
you rolled on your side and wrapped your arm around his body, nuzzling your face into his comforting touch and inhaling the mild scent of pine and tobacco. humming a satisfied “good night” and dozing off within a few minutes, you clung to him as tightly as a koala onto a branch, and he couldn’t separate himself from you without making you stir and whine.
trapped in the embrace of a beautiful neighbor whom he possessed a soft spot for, wearing his clothing and laying in his bed, he would be trapped like this until morning it sounds like a dream to most men, but to logan, it’s the fear of getting attached and losing someone else important to him rearing its ugly head to the forefront of his mind. it scares him to think what could happen if he allowed himself this pleasure of becoming close to you, and yet when he admires your slumbering face, he feels like it would be okay and work itself out in the end somehow.
he fell asleep more quickly than usual when you held him, and for the first time in forever, he wasn’t tormented with horrid nightmares of the past that always plagued him before now. when he woke up, his weary soul was well-rested and energized, almost as if he was twenty years younger again. the wonders of a good night’s sleep, or perhaps, the wonders of being with you.
it felt so… natural to wake up with you next to him.
you were practically a dead weight by now, not rousing in the least when he slowly got up to leave the bed. he did feel a little back about undoing the grasp you had on him though, felt a bit like abandoning you in a vulnerable state. he sauntered into the kitchen to brew a cup of coffee as per his routine, only to find the most annoyingly loveable scarred face sitting in a chair waiting for him, legs crossed and hands in his lap like a supervillain.
“sooooo, how was your night, you smitten kitten? you dirty dog!” there was a stupid smirk on his face, trying his best to hold back a fit of giggles. he knows nothing suggestive happened and was just teasing, but he still wanted to hear him say that it was a wonderful night nonetheless and to thank him for playing matchmaker.
“shut the fuck up before i stab you again. don’t ruin this morning for me.”
#📜. her works#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#wolverine#wolverine x reader#deadpool and wolverine#marvel#marvel x reader#x men#x men x reader
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sweet revenge
・・・l. howlett x fem!reader
rating. m
word count. 1.3k
synopsis. after catching your boyfriend cheating, you and his father, Logan, go on a road trip to confront him, though, you don't make it far
warnings. p-in-v, tummy bulging, cheating (but as payback), DILF Logan, car sex, van sex, sex with boyfriend's father, cunilingus, kinda rushed :((
If someone told you you’d be trapped in a car with your neglectful boyfriend’s father for an entire weekend as you drive to meet him in Mexico a week ago, you would have stared at them blankly then told them that didn't sound so out of the ordinary for a life like yours.
It wasn't your idea, it was Logan's, your boyfriend's father. He insisted that you two would have to drive across the US together to confront your disgusting, cheating, asshole boyfriend who flew to Mexico to spend time with his mistress. He was almost as disgusted as you were, apologizing to you with explanations of how “he hadn't raised his boy like this”. How funny life is.
Logan, you always thought, was a good man. He had always been kind to you since you’ve known him, sometimes to the point where you thought he was flirting with you. Not that you minded, he was quite handsome, even for being in his 50s. With his salt and pepper beard and slight wrinkles that made him look mature and wise. You never minded his slight touches on your arm or your lower back but you never pursued the idea beyond a lingering thought.
“I’m slightly surprised you’re not crying.” Logan said about an hour into your ride together. You had been entirely silent, letting the radio play while you gazed longingly out of the window, your feet up on the dashboard. You rolled your head to the side to look at him. “I’m more angry than sad.” Or were you? You searched within the cavity of your chest for emotion and found nothing. You were so apathetic to the whole thing. Maybe it simply hasn't hit you yet, that your boyfriend of 3 years has been cheating on you for 2 of them with some girl he decided to vacation with in Mexico.
Logan stroked his fingers through his beard. “He’s a fucking idiot. His mother was a cheater too, I say he got it from her.” Your boyfriend was raised primarily by his mother after they had gotten divorced he had told you. He wasn't actually all that close with Logan. You had sussed out that it was because he didn't give special treatment between him and his sister, Laura. They were treated the same in every way by Logan while his mother always seemed to favor him.
“Thank you, Mr. Howlett for offering to bring me down here…really. It’s too kind of you.” You couldn't have possibly scrounge up enough money to haphazardly buy a plane ticket down to Cancun last minute. You would have had to wait for him to come back from his “business trip” to confront him. Logan thought it a better idea to do it as soon as possible.
He shrugged, a single hand on the wheel as his eyes flicked lightly from the road to you. “It’s nothing. He doesn't deserve a pretty girl like you.” Logan shook his head lightly. “Back in my day, I would have been all over a girl like you. Hell, I’d be all over you now if I’d met you at the right time.”
There's something deadly serious in his voice that suggests he was far from joking. All your delusional thoughts that maybe, just maybe, he was flirting with you turned out to not be delusions at all. He’s been dropping hints and you’d been turning a blind eye to them so willingly.
You’ve never been with a man his age. Something about it seemed so taboo. He was old enough to be your father. Yet the distinct feel of forbiddenness, both because of his age and because he was your boyfriend's father, excited you.
“Who says you can't be all over me now?” You’re being more bold than you’d have liked. You crossed your ankles on the dash. It would be the perfect revenge. When he goes low, you go lower—you go to Hell.
You let your hand wander to his thigh, your eyes lingering on him as he keeps glancing between you and the road. Logan chuckled lowly at you, your forward attempts at coming onto him were rather cute. “Oh baby, you don't know what you’re tryna get yourself into.” He’s trying to warn you but you like the edge to his tone.
You unbuckle your seatbelt and sit up in your seat to lean over and whisper into his ear. “Let me find out.” Maybe older men do it better, maybe they value things a little more. You were in the mood to find out.
You could see his jaw tighten as he slowed the car off the side of the road, gravel crunching under the tires. His fingers curled around the wheel, taut, knuckles white. “Why don't you get in the back?”
If someone told you you’d be in the back of a van, on you way to confront your cheating, sleazebag boyfriend, fucking his dad. That…that you’d bat an eye at.
It was a fast-paced endeavor. Logan had you in a mating press, pushed up against the back seats. Your pants and underwear at your knees, his pants just below his ass. He’s pounding you out in the back of a van, with thrust so hard and deep that it makes your eyes go cross. You beg, “please, please, puh-please!” like that will save you from the brutalization of your poor cunt.
Logan grunts above you, his hands gripping your thighs hard enough to leave bruises as he spreads them wide and keeps you still. “You wanted this, princess. Don’t back out now.” His strokes leave you winded, clawing at the cracked leather seat of his van, squealing like you have no damn sense in the world. “I can’t,” you gasp.
“Yes you can, doll. You can take it.” Fuck– he was using his father voice. Stern, authoritative, the kind of voice you can’t say no to. You could have come right then and there from his voice alone, cooing at your pretty pussy like a cat. He pressed his hips sharply into yours and watched your back arch away from the seats and your eyes prick with tears. “Logan!”
“You act like you’ve never been fucked before. Does my son not do a good job?”
You shook your head feverishly. “Never– ” you swallowed, “–like this.” Never made you cum for that matter. If you knew fucking your boyfriend's father would have been like this, you would have done this a whole lot sooner.
You could feel him in your stomach. You pressed your hand to your belly and felt the bulge of his cock under your skin. You whimpered at the feeling, tracing where his cock head poked through. You could feel him pressing against your tender womb.
You let Logan cum in you. It was easy to with a face like his. You let him sink himself deep inside, a guttural groan rattling out from his throat, satisfied as he emptied his balls inside you. You could help but giggle as he came in you. The thought of possibly having his baby didn't bother you as much as you thought it would. Logan was a good man, well, as good as one can be while fucking his son’s girlfriend.
Logan didn't want to leave you unsatisfied though you were more than used to it. He grabbed your hips and pulled you up, back arching as he dipped down and kissed your cum-soaked pussy. His tongue found your clit with ease, licking tenderly at the bud between your legs, eyes peering over your pelvis, looking down at you.
Your legs trembled over his shoulder, toes pointing with each rough lick against your puffy pussy. “‘s too much, too much.” His lips were latched to your lips, suckling.
Cumming on his tongue was an easy job. He made it so simple yet so powerful. You quivered under every lick, your body rolling with the waves of your orgasm. It was sweet, savory, like tender peaches on a warm, summer evening.
Who knew revenge could taste so sweet?
#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x fem!reader#logan howlett fanfiction#wolverine x reader#wolverine x fem!reader#logan wolverine#wolverine fanfiction
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reverse dating tropes w hsr men! (pt. 2)
in which — what the title suggests / those classic fanfic tropes but with a twist
featuring — gepard, aventurine, sunday (separately) x gn!reader
✧.* — wc: total 2.1k, downbad gepard + flirty aven + sunday is js fluff overload, wrecked my brain out for this, serval robin cameo xx, anyway pls enjoy!! reblogs r appreciated <3
boothill jing yuan blade vers here!
gepard ♡‧₊˚
"blind date" but gepard is just too shy to ask you out himself so serval does him a favour —setting you up on a date with him.
gepard clutches the bouquet of ball peonies tightly behind his back; he catches sight of you sitting on a bench, patiently waiting for him. to ease his nerves, he takes a deep breath, reassuring himself, it’s going to be alright gepard, just go over there, give them the flowers, and ask them out! surely it’s not that hard…
upon spotting him, you rise from your seat and wave eagerly in his direction. he hastens his steps, closing the distance between you. as he stands in front of you, you can see a faint blush tinting his cheeks, the rosy hue contrasting with his fair skin. he clears his throat, “ahem…sorry to keep you waiting.” revealing the bouquet behind his back, he averts his gaze downwards, shifting his weight nervously from one foot to the other.
you accept the flowers graciously, smiling warmly at him. “and would you please—” in that moment, his gaze flickers up to meet yours, it's the worst thing he could have done.
oh aeons… you look so beautiful. his heart races, threatening to leap out of his chest, and he finds himself at a loss for words, his mind a jumble of thoughts and emotions. “hm?” you tilt your head with a soft smile, the sound of your voice washes over him like a gentle breeze, leaving him tongue-tied. he’s sure you can see the redness spreading to his ears now.
panicking, he blurts out “—pass the flowers to my sister.” (re: go on a date with me)
his eyes widened at his own words, wait no he meant to ask you out on a date!
“ah… okay, no problem!” you reply, masking your surprise with a polite smile, quickly dismissing any lingering curiosity. though you do find it a bit odd that he would arrange a meeting just to pass on flowers to his sister, but hey perhaps as the captain of silvermane guards, he's simply too busy to visit serval himself. in any case, you admire his thoughtfulness towards his sibling.
“now tell me brother dearest, to what do i owe the pleasure of receiving ball peonies from you?” serval crosses her arm across her chest, learning against her workbench, her face deadpan, oh she’s definitely aware of what happened.
sensing her brother’s nervousness, she shakes her head teasingly. "oh, nevermind! please, spare me the explanation… you totally fumbled, and told them to give the flowers to me? really, geppie? and how long do you plan to drag this out for?"
gepard sighs as he realises there's no use in trying to deflect her sharp observation. he can only resort to his last-ditch effort now: asking serval to set you up on a date with him.
so now, you find yourself sitting at a cozy diner, waiting for your so-called “blind date” that serval has set you up on.
(“i guarantee you won’t regret it!” serval throws a playful wink at you; you give up trying to figure her underlying intentions)
suddenly, a man walks over to you, you assume that he is your date— “gepard? what are you doing here..?” gepard's cheeks flush with embarrassment as he stands before you, a sheepish smile playing at the corners of his lips. "i, uh... i’m your blind date." he admits, swallowing nervously.
you let out a soft laugh, “oh i was hoping it would be you.” you admit, your voice tinged with a hint of bashfulness.
hoping it was him? so that means you feel the same right?
needless to say, your date went well. before you part ways, you press a soft kiss to his already-burning cheeks (don’t do that again, you’re gonna break him), and you disappear into the distance, leaving behind a trail of butterflies in his stomach; he presses his hand against the spot you pecked, he thinks he might not be able to sleep for the next few nights, what you have done to the poor guy.
oh gepard, he is so deeply, utterly, in love with you.
aventurine ୨୧。˚ ⋆
CEO playboy aventurine takes an interest in you, but you unintentionally lead him on, so he ends up falling heads over heels for you.
“meet me in my office in 5 minutes.” you immediately pause at what you’re doing, and read the message from your boss over and over again. oh gosh you’re really done for now! what did you do wrong?! your mind races as you try to recall any mistakes you’ve made recently, but nothing comes to mind…
you nervously knock on the door to aventurine’s office, feeling your palms grow clammy with sweat. a voice rings out, “ah, yes please come in.”
you step into the room, not daring to meet your boss’ gaze. “i’m here sir, as you requested. is there anything you need from me?” you suddenly find the marble floor very interesting, opting to stare at it as you anxiously wait for his reply.
aww, are they really that shy to see me? that’s cute.
aventurine’s next sentence catches you completely off guard, “so, what do you think about my new tie, hm?” he walks over to you, a smirk forming on his lips.
is this one of his stupid schemes again? aeons, this won’t work on you.
“...it's crooked. let me fix it for you.” you reach out and adjust his tie, being careful as to not accidentally choke him (even if you really want to, just because he scared the shit out of you by calling you into his office for something like this), lest you get fired.
aventurine is pleasantly taken aback by your boldness. usually those who fall victim to his flirtatious ways are quick to shower him with compliments, but your reaction is refreshingly unexpected. or perhaps you are challenging him? oh well, a little gamble never hurts, right?
it's obvious he’s taken a liking to you; for the next few weeks, he's been calling you to his office more and more frequently, to the point where you're no longer nervous to enter, as you know it’s probably nothing serious. plus, you’ve gotten used to the “strange” reasons he requests for your presence.
including the times where he made you do your work in his office, claiming that he feels lonely and needs your (it can only be you, no one else) company. or the many-times that you told him to manage his money wisely because he CANNOT be spending thousands on you.
“just a small gift for my favourite employee!” (and it's a whole ass car that costs way above your pay grade)
at this point, you're beginning to think he should hire a secretary. you subconsciously bring the idea up during one of your visits, what you didn’t expect was for him to eagerly agree with you. his eyes twinkle with amusement, “no wonder you’re my favourite, of course you’re interested in being my secretary, well lucky you! your new position begins tomorrow.”
so instead of hiring a secretary like any normal person would, he makes YOU his secretary. and hey, when did you ever express that you would like to be his secretary? this scumbag…
“oh don’t be so nervous sweetheart, just sort these out for me—” he hands you a folder of documents, his fingers deliberately brushing against yours, lingering for a moment longer than necessary. “and stay here while you work on them.. want to see your pretty face.”
you think your boss is insufferable, even more so now that you’ve fallen for his charms. it's as if he enjoys playing this game of cat and mouse, keeping you on your toes with his teasing remarks and lingering touches. yet beneath the facade of annoyance, there’s something undeniably alluring about the way he looks at you, as if you're the only person in the room. well you’re not far off; you are the sole focus of his attention.
like right now, while you attempt to maintain your composure under his unmistakably, shameless, lovesick gaze; his lips curl into a mischievous smirk, “oh by the way, dinner's on me tonight. choose whatever you like." with a coy smile, you decide to tease him, “what? can’t even ask me out properly?” you quip, raising an eyebrow in faux innocence.
and later that night you find your boss on one knee, waiting at your front porch, in his hands are freshly bought flowers. his eyes immediately light up the moment you open the door, a horrified look on your face. “will you go on a date with me?” oh how he delights in your flustered expression.
“i said ask me out! not get down on one knee and propose!”
“...so will you?”
don’t worry, he knows you'll look forward to the day he proposes (you’re not even dating, yet) but for now he’ll spoil you with the most lavish meal known to mankind, not that you’re complaining about it either.
sunday ༊*·˚
not-so-accidental confession with sunday who intentionally leads you to overhear him talking about his feelings for you.
you raise your hand, ready to knock on the door, but a voice from inside halts your movement. you hesitate, your knuckles hovering just inches away from the wood, as the unexpected sound piques your curiosity.
“brother, why didn’t you tell me this before?” it’s no doubt that the soft-spoken voice belongs to robin, her tone carrying a tinge of surprise; and by the way she addresses the other person, it can't be anyone but sunday himself.
their conversation sounds tense, you think it's inappropriate to eavesdrop, but just as you were about to leave, sunday's voice catches your attention, and you freeze at the sound of your name slipping past his lips.
“—their infectious laugh, how their eyes light up with pure innocence, their unwavering passion and selflessness that knows no bounds; always putting others before themselves. how can i possibly not love them?”
your face flushes with warmth upon hearing his words, and you're unable to suppress a cough that escapes; you bring your hands to your mouth, hoping to stifle any further embarrassment.
robin chuckles, “oh brother, i understand exactly what you mean”, a genuine smile spreads across her face. “...seems like you’re expecting a guest” she raises an eyebrow knowingly, “i’ll take my leave now." with that, she gives sunday a reassuring pat on the shoulder and gracefully exits the room, shooting you a playful wink as she walks by.
uh oh… you’re totally busted
you immediately turn on your heels, trying to slip away before sunday realises you're there. but just before you can make your escape, someone grabs your wrist, holding you firmly in place. you turn around to see sunday looking down at you, his eyes flickering with emotions swirling within him.
"i swear i didn't hear anything!" you exclaim, waving your hand in front of you defensively.
“really…nothing?”
“yup! nothing at all.” you lie through your teeth, cringing at yourself.
“nothing? ...but i made sure you were there to hear everything.” a hint of disappointment evident in his voice.
“huh..?” your expression twists with confusion, a faint blush creeping up from your neck. you were meant to hear that? he just poured his heart out to his sister…about you!
sunday smiles, oh there’s no point in lying now, he knows you heard him. (as expected)
he steps closer to you, his arms caging you between the wall and himself. “you know i meant everything i said right?” a soft smile tugged at the corners of his lips, leaving you momentarily speechless, unsure of how to respond; you can feel your chest swelling with warmth, his wings flutter subconsciously as he awaits your response.
“y-yes…” you avert your gaze, too shy to stare into his eyes. “please, look at me…” he gently tilts your chin up, his eyes boring into yours. “i wanted to tell you that i love you, for so long” he looks vulnerable at that moment, a side he only ever shows to you; a side of him only you get to see.
“i love y—” sunday gently places his finger on your lips, silencing you. you tilt your head at his gesture, your mouth still agape. “don’t say it back yet…” moving his hand to hold your face, “allow me to take you out on a date, then tell me how you feel.” you interlace your fingers with the his that rest against your face, nodding your head in acceptance.
though sunday longs for you to utter those 3 words to him, he wants to make that moment perfect, just as you are to him. despite sunday’s intention for you to overhear him, he regrets not being able to catch your reaction to his words, so next time (re: on the date), he vows to repeat it as many times as necessary; he will do anything to fulfill your every wish.
and should you desire for him to put a ring on your finger, he will do it in a heartbeat.
✧.*
masterlist boothill jing yuan blade vers here!
#✧renwrites!#—stellaronhvnters.#honkai star rail#honkai star rail x reader#hsr fanfic#hsr fluff#hsr scenarios#hsr imagines#hsr x reader#hsr x you#honkai star rail x you#star rail x reader#honkai starrail x reader#gepard x you#gepard x y/n#gepard x reader#hsr gepard#gepard landau#gepard fanfic#aventurine x you#aventurine x y/n#aventurine x reader#hsr aventurine#aventurine#aventurine fanfic#sunday x you#sunday x y/n#sunday x reader#hsr sunday#sunday honkai star rail
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heat lightning
pt 1
pairing: spencer reid x fem gideon!reader
summary: you end up at the heart of the bau's latest case.
a/n: took way too long but here's more gideon reader! just as irritable as ever with some actual human emotions this time around. send help and prayers bc she's gonna need it. and before you ask there will in fact be some more parts to close up this case, i just have to write them first and it may take approximately 10 years. thank you for your consideration
wc: 4.1k
warning(s): reader still has daddy issues, still hates spence, and still argues w gideon the whole time. more angst! typical cm case stuff (a stalker that has taken vulnerable pics of reader) read w/ discretion if you are sensitive to those things. more drama and more tension and more not being a good time for anyone but me
“On your right, pretty boy.”
Spencer stops as Morgan rushes past him back to his desk, eyes trained on the hallway.
“Why are you in such a hurry?” he complains. “I nearly spilled my coffee.”
“Gideon’s daughter is here again,” he says. “Did you not feel the temperature drop five degrees?”
Spencer frowns. He opens his mouth to say something when he hears the telltale signs of your arrival: arguing.
“—so typical of you! I have to drop everything the moment you need me, but it’s like pulling teeth to get you to listen to me.”
Gideon turns the corner with you in tow. He has a duffle bag in one hand and a file in his other, his brow furrowed in frustration.
“That’s because this is important,” he says.
“Oh, and everything else I try to get you to be around for isn’t?”
“You know that isn’t what I meant,” Gideon says, keeping his voice level.
“This is ridiculous,” you spit.
“It’s necessary,” he corrects. “I’m not going to play games with your safety.”
“Oh, yeah,” you mock. “Because you’ve always cared about that.”
He just shakes his head. “I’m not debating this with you.”
“Why? Because you’ll realize that it’s ridiculous?”
You follow Gideon into his office and Spencer watches him close the blinds. The door slams shut, and though he can still hear the muffled argument he can’t make anything out.
“Oh, great,” Morgan says. “Now we can’t even get Reid to read their lips.”
“I don’t think we need it to know what they’re talking about,” Elle says. “They’ve been arguing since she was brought in.”
“Of course they have,” JJ says. “Gideon sent Hotch to pick her up instead of doing it himself. She sees it as another slight.”
“She sees everything as a slight,” Spencer says. “She hates him.”
“I don’t blame her,” Morgan mutters. “Not when we only found out about her last month.”
“Surely this isn’t helping with anything,” JJ says wryly.
Elle shrugs. “Doesn’t matter. Sometimes pointless arguing makes you feel better, even when you’re in the wrong.”
“That’s enough, agents.” Spencer’s attention—along with everyone else’s—snaps to the top of the bullpen to see Hotch holding a file with the same expression as always. “I need you all in the conference room.”
“Does it have anything to do with that?” Morgan asks, tilting his head towards Gideon’s office.
“You’ll find out,” he says. Hotch starts walking to the conference room, the conversation clearly over.
JJ sighs as she stands up and grabs the files on her desk. “I’ll get Penelope. The rest of you try not to gossip too much.”
She goes off, and the others disperse back to their desk to finish up some last-minute things before the case takes them away. Spencer can’t tear his eyes away from Gideon’s office, even though he’s not getting anything.
All he can think about is the last time you were here, when he got caught in the middle of your argument with Gideon—your dad, which was still a little weird—and he can’t help but feel guilty.
Gideon is a father figure to him, sure, but it isn’t that difficult to end up with that dynamic when Spencer’s the youngest on the team. And he can go into everything about his father leaving and the psychology of that, but it doesn’t matter. Gideon treated him like a son when he had a daughter all along that he’d been neglecting.
For all Spencer knows, it is his fault.
“Reid,” Elle says, snapping him out of his thoughts, “you coming?”
“Yeah,” he says, nodding far too many times as he catches up to her in a few quick strides. “Sorry.”
“No need,” she remarks. “Gideon’s kid was all anyone could talk about when she first showed up here. This is only gonna make things worse.”
“He can’t really be that bad of a dad,” Spencer says, “right?”
“All I know is that having a parent in the force rarely ends well,” Elle murmurs. She opens the door to the conference room and looks at him. “We can’t be too hard on her when we probably see Gideon more than she does.”
Spencer recalls his meeting with you, how he barely got a word in edgewise while you spent the whole time arguing with someone half the office viewed as immovable.
“Yeah,” he says distantly. “I don’t think that’ll be a problem.”
-
“Why? Because you’ll realize that it’s ridiculous?”
Your dad shuts the blinds on all the windows in his office, then closes the door behind you. He sets your duffle down on the floor then looks at you, that infuriatingly even expression still unchanged.
“It’s not ridiculous,” he says. “Sit down and lower your voice, please. We have some things to talk about.”
“I gathered that when you sent your guy to pick me up,” you say, crossing your arms as he walks over to his desk. “Couldn’t even do it yourself?”
“Aaron Hotchner is the chief of this unit and one of the most accomplished agents here,” he says. “He lives closer to you than I do, and I asked him to pick you up on his way in because I knew you would be safe with him. Sit down, please.”
“There it is again. My safety.” You remain standing. “Tell me what this is about. I’m missing work right now— I know you can understand that, at least.”
He lets out a sigh as he says your name and looks at you. “Can we get through this without any arguments for once?”
“That depends. Are you going to treat me like your daughter or an inconvenience?”
“You’re my daughter, I love you, and your life is in danger,” he says evenly.
You open your mouth to retort, but your dad opens the file in his hands and sets it down on the other side of the desk. You can see from your position that they’re photos, but your curiosity ultimately wins out. You walk over to get a closer look, and any words die in your throat as you pick up the first photo.
A photo of you.
You pick up the next one, only to see it’s another picture of you. At least ten photos are tucked away in the file, and they’re all of you. Taken outside your work, at your apartment, on your morning run— god, there’s even one taken through the window of your bedroom, half-naked in a towel after a shower.
You fall silently into the chair, your heart hammering inside your chest as your eyes dart between all of the photos. You want to crawl out of your skin.
“What the fuck is this?” you breathe.
“The heart of our newest case,” your dad says. “It appears that you have a stalker.”
“Yeah,” you whisper, eyes still glued to your oblivious self, “I would fucking think so.”
“These photos were dropped off at my door this morning,” he says, and he flips to the next section of the file, “with that note.”
The erratic handwriting instantly stands out to you as you pick the photocopy up, the lump in your throat growing with every word you read.
such a pretty little thing. I wonder if she knows it.
you don’t care about her, but I do. she’s just like all the rest of us, everyone that you’ve ruined.
think about your priorities, agent gideon. I’ll be watching.
“What the fuck is this?” you repeat. Blood pounds in your skull as a distant chill creeps down your spine. “I— I’m one of your cases now?”
“We’re not sure yet,” he admits. “These only appeared yesterday, but from the looks of it, the unsub has been watching you for a while. Can you pinpoint when any of these photos were taken?
You stare at him. “Some psycho has been stalking me for a while?”
Your dad says your name again, slightly strained. “Please. I know this is difficult to think about, but figuring out a time frame would help us.”
“Difficult,” you scoff. “Yeah, that’s one way to put it.”
But it doesn’t have the bite your words usually hold. For once, you don’t think you’re mad at your dad. You think you’re terrified.
“...Yeah,” you finally murmur, and you pick up one of the photos. “I thrifted a mirror a month ago, and this one doesn’t have it.”
Your dad nods, and he picks up two others. “Neither do these.”
“So this has been going on for at least a month,” you say bitterly. “Great.”
Your dad says your name, quieter this time, and when you finally look at him his eyes have softened.
“We’re going to figure this out,” he says. “This is a threat against an FBI agent’s family, and it will be treated accordingly. Forensics is doing tests on all the original copies to try and find a lead. The whole BAU will be on your case—I will be on it, and we won’t rest until we find whoever’s doing this.”
“Yeah,” you say numbly. “You sure that’ll help? Because it looks like all this is happening because I’m your daughter.”
“I know this is scary,” he says. “This… this is nothing like you’ve ever dealt with before. You shouldn’t have to deal with it. But you have to trust my team. We know what we’re doing.”
“Of course you know what you’re doing,” you say. “You’re always here.”
Your words have no bite behind them, more of an instinct as you grab your purse from the ground. You can feel the pinpricks of incoming tears, and you refuse to cry in front of your dad.
“I— I need a minute,” you say. “This is all just—”
“I understand,” he says. “Just don’t go far. Stay on this floor.”
You nod and start towards the door, but you pause right before you reach it. Your mouth opens as you try to think of something to say, but it falls shut just as quickly. You shake your head as you reach for the door handle, but before you get the chance, it swings open and you’re met with a familiar face.
Spencer Reid, the kid your dad likes more than you. He’s nothing less than surprised to see you, from his stumbled step back, the slightly wide eyes, his hand poised to knock on the door.
A mumbled apology falls from your lips as you move around him, and you can still feel his eyes on you as you speed off. You wonder what ideas he and the rest of the BAU have drawn up about you since your last visit to the office.
You don’t really care.
True to your word, you don’t go far—just to the bathroom. Thankfully it’s close, because the moment you make it to one of the stalls, knees stinging as you fall to the tiled floor, you vomit.
By the time you’ve expelled the contents of your stomach, it feels just as empty as the rest of you. You stare at the wall, breathing slightly harried and skin warm to the touch, and you resist the urge to punch it.
You have a stalker. Someone has been watching you for a month—at least a month, maybe longer—and you had no fucking clue, and now your only decent hope lies with your dad and his team.
Normally, you wrote off anything depending on your dad as fruitless, but this involved the thing he loved more than anything in the world: his job.
You huff a wry laugh at the thought. This wouldn’t get solved because it concerned you, it would get solved because it concerned his job.
You stand up and walk over to the sink. You rinse your mouth, then just stare at yourself in the mirror.
It— it feels strange. Looking at yourself like this, knowing someone has been—still is—watching you.
You recall their words.
Pretty little thing.
You don’t care about her, but I do.
A chill crawls up your spine. You can’t shake the dread settling all over you.
What the fuck are you going to do?
You have to trust your dad, but you’ve never trusted your dad. God, he’s not even really your dad. He’s Senior Supervisory Special Agent Jason Gideon, nothing more—the estranged kid is an unfortunate side effect of the estranged wife.
You let out another breathy laugh. Would he even care if this psycho actually ends up killing you?
You stand there for another couple minutes, time idling in the background as you continue to stare at the mirror.
You haven’t cried, at least. That’s certainly something.
The door opens ever so slightly and someone says your name. Your eyes flick to the mirror almost immediately as your body tenses, and you recognize her as one of the BAU’s agents. She’s pretty and blonde with sympathetic eyes, and you know they’ve been briefed on your situation.
If you have to deal with an office of pitying looks, you think you might lose your mind.
“Are you alright?” she asks softly.
“Just peachy,” you mumble. “My dad ask you to check up on me?”
She nods. “You can imagine why Gideon is a bit high strung at the moment.”
“I’m fine,” you repeat. “I just… needed a second.”
“I understand,” she murmurs. “Do you still need some time?”
“What do you need?”
“Gideon wants to talk to you. It’s best if he explains it.”
You huff a laugh and shake your head. “Fine. Lead the way, Agent…”
“Jareau,” she supplies. “But call me JJ, please.”
In lieu of a response, you walk over to her. She offers a thin smile and holds the door for you, then falls into step with you. A moment of silence passes before she speaks up.
“We’re going to figure this out,” JJ says. “Your dad is one of the best to walk through these doors. If anyone can solve this, he can.”
“So I keep hearing,” you murmur.
-
Spencer watches you hurry off with wide eyes, and it takes a few seconds for him to snap out of it. He’s less surprised by your pace, and more surprised that you actually apologized for bumping into him.
“Reid,” Gideon speaks up, and his attention snaps back over to his superior. “What do you need?”
“Is she okay?” he asks instead. He can’t help it—after what Hotch just told all of them, he’s worried about you.
Gideon gathers the photos back into the file then stands up. “Our job is to make sure she will be.”
“Hotch briefed us,” he says, and his eyes darted back to the doorway almost on instinct. “This— this is crazy. We just found out about her last month, and some guy’s been after her for longer?”
“What this is is one of my enemies targeting my daughter because they’re too much of a coward to go after me,” Gideon says evenly. “We just have to figure out which one before they escalate.”
“How do you know?” he asks.
“What you said is true,” he admits. “Hardly anyone knows I have a daughter. Even fewer would know where she lives. Someone who wants to hurt me would have incentive to discover both.”
“So we look into unsubs you’ve put away that have been released,” Spencer says. “Or ones that are still in, but have family that might be bitter.”
“Exactly,” Gideon nods. “But I have to ask something of you, Reid.”
He frowns. “Anything.”
“We’re working on getting a safe house for my daughter,” Gideon says. “I need you to stay there with her.”
Somehow, his frown deepens. “What?”
“I need to know she’s with someone I can trust,” he says. “There’s someone after her, and we don’t know who—that means we need to keep this circle tight.”
“So you want me to be her bodyguard?” Spencer marvels. “Do you remember that you had to waive all my physical tests?”
“Less of a bodyguard,” he says. “More just… keeping her company. Making sure she’s alright—mentally as much as physically.”
“Why am I the one that has to keep an eye on her?” Spencer asks. “She hates me!”
“Don’t take it personally,” Gideon says. “She hates a lot of things.”
“But it is personal,” Spencer insists. “She hates me because she thinks you like me more than her.”
Gideon doesn’t seem phased at the comment. “She’s opinionated, but she’s harmless. And right now, I need to know that she’s with someone I can trust.”
“I— I still don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“Please, Reid.” Gideon leans forward, and there’s an uncharacteristic vulnerability in his eyes. "If I'm going to be on this case, I need to know that she's safe. I won't be able to focus otherwise."
Spencer wasn’t going to lie—he genuinely thought it was a bad idea. But… Gideon said he trusted him. And this was his daughter—they might’ve argued, but they still cared about each other. if he could keep Lila Archer safe, he could keep you safe.
“…Okay,” he finally concedes. “Okay.”
Gideon nods, and he watches the change in his eyes, the slightest bit of tension leaving his shoulders. “Thank you.”
“Just… make sure there are two bedrooms,” Spencer says. “I don’t need her to kill me one day in.”
At that, he cracks a rare smile. Spencer is thankful for it, that he can bring even the smallest amount of levity to Gideon’s life right now.
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
-
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
Your dad says your name, but you hardly let him finish.
“No! First I find out I have a stalker, then my whole life’s going to be uprooted until you find them, and now I have to be stuck with boy genius?”
“You know, we’re about the same age—”
“Do you ever stop talking?” you cry, whirling on Spencer.
“I actually don’t talk that much when I’m around you,” Spencer says, his brows creasing. “This is the third time I’ve met you, and I’ve only said nine sentences across those meetings. Thirteen, if you count all of these too.”
You let out a strained laugh as you shake your head, trying to blink back tears. “This is fucking unbelievable. I know he’s practically your son, but this is just—”
“A safety precaution,” your dad interrupts. “Doctor Spencer Reid is another one of the BAU’s finest agents, and he is fully qualified to keep you safe.”
“He looks like a strong breeze could snap him in half.”
“This is not a joke,” your dad says sternly. “None of this is a joke. Your life is in danger—you have a stalker that has been watching your every move for at least a month, and we have no idea what their next move will be. Doctor Reid is more experienced than you in every facet of this, and I am entrusting him to your care. I respect him immensely, and you will do so as well.”
You don’t even look at Spencer, quiet rage simmering beneath the surface as you stare at your father.
“You really don’t get it,” you murmur. “Do you?”
“The only thing to get is that your life is in increasing danger with every moment you spend pushing against me,” your dad says, and he stands up. “Get your purse. Reid, get her duffle. We’re leaving.”
He leaves before you get the chance to do anything—you assume he’s finally tired of you.
You just shake your head and pick up your purse, and Spencer clears his throat as he reaches for your duffle bag. You wonder if it even has anything useful—Aaron Hotchner was the one who packed it.
“…So,” Spencer says. “I guess we’re gonna be roommates for a while.”
You huff in fully unveiled annoyance, and you push past him on your way out.
“Great,” he mutters to himself as he follows you. “So this is what Gideon’s trust earns me.”
It doesn’t take him too long to catch up to you, despite the unnecessary quick pace you’re taking. You bypass the elevator and head towards the stairwell, and Spencer catches the door before it’s able to slam on him.
He says your name, but you just shake your head.
“If we’re gonna be stuck together until this is over, I’d prefer silence.”
“I don’t really do silence,” Spencer says.
“I’m sure there’ll be plenty of books for you to read in whatever jail cell they throw me in.”
“It’s actually going to be a pretty nice safe house,” he starts, throwing his hand up against the wall to catch himself from running into it as he turns, because god you are moving fast, “Gideon picked it out himself.”
“Oh, then it’ll definitely be a jail cell,” you mock. “It’s not like he knows anything about me, so he’ll probably think that it’s perfect.”
Spencer frowns. “Cut him some slack. This is all just as hard on him as it is on you.”
You come to a sudden stop, whirling around to face him, and Spencer has to reel to the side to prevent himself from running into you. Had he not already been pressed up against the wall, he would have moved back further, what with the fire blazing in your eyes.
“I’m not going to cut him any slack,” you spit. “This is the most time I’ve gotten to spend with my dad in months, and it’s only because some creep is stalking me to get back at him. The only reason I’m in this at all is because of his job that he cares about more than me, and now he’s sticking me with the guy that he wishes was his kid. So no, Doctor Reid—I’m not going to cut him any slack.”
You’re already off on your way again before Spencer even has time to blink, and you’ve made it down the whole last flight by the time he pushes himself back up.
He takes the steps three at a time to catch up to you, and he once again barely manages to catch the door before it slams on him. He calls your name, finally managing to fall into step with you right before you reach Gideon. He, like a normal person, deigned to take the elevator.
“You haven’t started arguing already,” he says, passing a glance at Spencer, “have you?”
“What do you think?” you ask, your arms crossed.
“I think you’re giving him a hard time that you usually reserve for me,” he says. “Cut him some slack.”
Your jaw clenches. “I’ve been getting a lot of that lately. Save the profiling for my stalker, will you?”
“There’s plenty of profiling to go around,” Gideon says. “You two wait here—I need to confirm the safe house location before we head out.”
“Can we stop by my place before we go?” Spencer asks. “I need to pick up some things.”
“You have a go bag, don’t you?”
“Yeah, but I— I wasn’t exactly prepared for this sort of thing when I came in today.”
“You’ll be fine,” Gideon says. He walks off before Spencer can protest, and he sighs.
You lean against the wall, your arms crossed with your purse hanging off your shoulder, and for once you don’t pass judgment on his—admittedly small—plight.
“I changed my mind,” Spencer speaks up, deciding to try and break the remarkably high amount of tension that had built up in such a short time, and your eyebrows rise as you glance at him.
“About what?”
“I— I think I can do silence,” he says. “Temporarily.”
You huff a laugh. “Really?”
“I don’t really want to annoy you while we’re stuck together in an undisclosed location,” he says. “I don’t know what you’re capable of.”
And for the first time since Spencer has met you, you actually smile. It’s the smallest thing, just a slight tilt of your lips that’s more akin to Hotch’s moments of levity than anything, but it’s a smile.
“...Good choice,” you say. It feels like a joke, but Spencer isn’t sure.
He smiles anyway. You meet his eyes, and for a moment, you’re just another girl. Someone that Spencer could imagine himself stealing glances at in a lecture hall, a regular at his favorite coffee shop that he falls for over the course of an especially cold winter, someone he meets on a night out with the team that he ends up talking to all night.
You really do have pretty eyes.
And then your gaze hardens, darts away from him, and Spencer sees Gideon coming back in his peripherals. The moment fractures.
You’re not just a girl. You’re Gideon’s daughter, you’re in a remarkable amount of danger, and lest he forget, you do in fact hate him.
Spencer lets out another short sigh.
At least this safe house won’t have a pool.
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fic#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid angst#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds angst#x reader#sadie writes
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i love your comedy and fluff! but my masochistic heart is itching for more angst to fluff for gojo🥲 and i have this brainrot ever since i read "baby", "protect" and "wife": childbirth gone wrong, that's why he is sooo concerned about your wellbeing during your maternity leave~
࿐ ࿔ 🕰️ 「 09:45 P.M 」
tw: childbirth. there are two very same ask for this now and so that's the cue for me to practice my crack/angst more :3 okay this is basically an extended version of protect's epilogue and oh, it's a happy ending! mini sequel -> 11.10 p.m
a part of gojo's love entries
“you’re always doing whatever you want! ow!”
“deep breaths, sweets. deep brea—”
“easy for you to say! you don't contribute anything other than shoving that damn stick into me! and now i’m left with the consequences!”
“i kindly remind you that you very much enjoyed my stick that night—”
“i hate you!”
satoru looked at your tear-streaked face and patted you in the head—his notable love language, erupting into laughter. “of course you do.”
lying on the hospital bed, tears welled up in your eyes as you roasted your husband and your contractions kept getting closer together. three hours after you woke up to your labor pains, all you could feel was that you were ready to burst.
gripping his hand tight, you purposefully dig your nails in just to spite him. “i’m serious. i hate you. you’re not putting me up for this again!”
“you say that now, but the moment we are home, those words are going to be null and void,” satoru snorted in an attempt to lighten the mood, ignoring the slight pain you inflicted on him, because what was this compared to what you were going through?
but his facade dropped as soon as breath was knocked out of you and you whimpered. he instantly gathered you in his arms.
“hey, hey... take deep breaths...” when you did, he planted a tender kiss on your damp forehead. “that's it, there you go... the baby's going to be here real soon, okay?”
you panted, limp in his hold as dull pain overwhelmed you. “yeah... your baby.”
“our baby, love. not just mine,” he corrected, smiling. he had one hand on your swollen belly, palming the subtle firmness, and gently rubbing it. “our munchkin.”
“i’m just the container though.”
“heh, no,” he chuckled softly. “you're everything.” his eyes crinkled affectionately, a hint of laughter still in his voice, and your heart actually melted when he whispered: “my everything.”
truthfully, despite your bravado, you were scared shitless. yet, as you nestled your head against your husband's strong chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his reassuring heartbeat, and when you gazed into his eyes, you were sure, because he exuded confidence as if he had no doubts that this was going to go perfectly fine.
and so holding onto him you did. he held your hand through it all, talked you through your pain, and you were so, so grateful to have him by your side.
the next hour was a blur, as excruciating pain blinded your senses. you were wailing when everyone told you to push, and you gave it your all. you kept it up even as you felt like being torn apart.
and before you knew it, cries unlike any other, ones you had only imagined until that moment, echoed through the room.
“he's here!” satoru's hitched voice reached your ears, and you went slack, falling back to the sheets.
you were completely spent and all you could register was that the cherished baby both you and satoru had been waiting for was here. you shivered, your mind tuning in and out—lightheaded, wondering why you felt so drenched down there.
“holy shit! i can't believe it! i can’t—” if you were awake enough, you would realize that it was one of the rarest times when satoru was choked with emotions. he turned to you. “i—”
and suddenly you felt strange. an eerie chill seemed to engulf your entire being. your hand slipped from satoru's grasp as your vision dimmed, the world growing darker.
“are you okay? hey—” his voice sounded distant, and you struggled to keep your eyes open. satoru finally realized that something was wrong, as his six eyes discerned the rapid dwindling of your cursed energy, and the room reeked of the tangy scent of blood.
you barely made out the nurse's shouting next. “blood pressure is dropping!”
"come on!" now he was utterly panicked and tried to get a hold of you, shaking you slightly. “hey, stay awake—look at me, i’m right here, please—”
but to his horror, your head lolled back as you lost your consciousness. soon, he was thrown out of the delivery room. just like that, in one sick twist, his world was crumbling down hard and fast.
a sense of helplessness washed over him as he stood outside the room, barred from being by your side. inside, you were bleeding out, and he was unable to do anything but wait.
didn't he say he would protect you with everything he had? once again, gojo satoru was humbled—not everything was in his grasp. he couldn't save those chosen by fate not to be saved.
suddenly, it felt like suguru all over again, except the stakes were higher. he shuddered—his fist clenched so hard that it drew blood, while his other hand clutched his chest, desperately willing the searing pain away.
would he really lose you this way? the sheer thought made his ears ring. no fucking way. even hell knows he'd go berserk. would fate really let him decimate anything in his path? surely, no... right?
he was unaware that he had been murmuring these silent prayers when the doors slid open, revealing the doctor who had been assisting with your delivery earlier with the news. it was a case of a postpartum hemorrhage, she said, an unfortunate incident.
all things considered, you were going to be okay. that knowledge alone was enough to make him breathe freely once more.
when he was allowed to see you, the moment your eyes blinked open, the first thing he did was burying his head in the crook of your neck.
and there you have it—the first time you had ever seen him really shaken to the point of shedding tears.
“you scared me,” he rasped, voice thick with emotion. “i—i can't stop thinking— if you really left me—”
“i’m fine now...” you were somewhat wonderstruck by the knowledge that you had this potent hold over him. oblivious to how your soft voice calmed the depths of his soul, you stroked his hair, and he breathed in your scent, grateful to every force imaginable for returning you back to him.
“sleep,” he gently pulled away, his eyes rimmed with red, his fingers caressing your cheek. “you need it. i’ll be here when you wake up, i promise.”
“the baby—”
“they just cleaned him up. he's resting too,” satoru reassured with an impossibly tender smile, and his next words made your heart lurch.
“my strong girl, you did it. you're a mother now… thank you. thank you... for making me the father to our child.”
you felt like you might burst into tears. you felt so loved, so secure, even after you went through the most challenging ordeal in your life. and as you drifted to your rest, you could hear the love of your life whisper in your ear ever so lovingly—
“i know i have said it before, but i’ll say it again. with everything it is that i have, i swear to you, nothing will befall you and our baby, for i will spare nothing and give everything for both of you... even my own life.”
#𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#gojo satoru#okay i'm just in the mood of very soft gojo#jjk imagines#jjk drabbles#jujutsu kaisen x reader#satoru gojo x reader#gojo satoru fluff#jjk fluff#gojo x you#satoru gojo fluff#gojo satoru angst#gojo angst#jjk angst
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